Lib Dems Indecisive On Uncertainty

Had quite an enjoyable day off in lieu today - not a day in the lieu, as Linsay described it to someone earlier, which is actually something entirely different and far less enjoyable!

I've tried not to watch any of the Lib Dem conference, but it's like a bad episode of Casualty. You know it's going to rubbish, and a total waste of your time, but you just can't help yourself. (BTW, party conferences are also far more bloody than the average episode of Casualty.)

I watched a particularly ridiculous debate on eco-towns. Where essentially the contributors said the following:

We need more affordable housing, we need to build less housing, we need to build new housing in the cities, we need to build less housing in the cities and more in communities outside cities, we need to protect the greenbelt, we shoud sometimes build in the greenbelt because most houses one of the contributors had lived in were new houses in the greenbelt, the Council have built some good houses in Exeter but have also built some bad house in Exeter. And so on.

The debate then finished with Lembit Opik making some really rubbish jokes that didn't work. So no change there. I was just surprised that he didn't come up onto the stage on a segway (nice to see he had it elsewhere in the complex though).

All things to all men. People who couldn't make a decsion if their sandals depended on it.

It reminds me of that very astute Beautiful South song "Oh Blackpool" all about Lib Dems at Party Conference. It may be dated but these lines still make me laugh:

"They wore enamel badges of David Steel on their sleeves and nuclear power: no thanks, not sure and yes please. And their faces were two fold and the teeth that were gold, and they wore these pin stripe suits with a rip at the knee."

I think the whole debate could be summed up by the contributor who said that the Lib Dems shouldn't have any national policies, because "everywhere is different so should be able to decide for themselves on these things". Genius.

Then followed the Lib Dems plans to roll out tax cuts to pretty much everyone (and not concentrate money on improving public services) because "people know best how to spend their own money". I thought this was Lib Dem conference, not Tory Party Conference?

In classic Lib Dem style, after trying to out-Tory the Tories, they then claimed that they were nothing like the Tories. And in the sense that they will never form a Government or be taken seriously, they are right.

Then Nick Clegg goes on Newsnight trying to explain how he is going to fund these tax cuts. He says he doesn't know, but if he did, he wouldn't tell you. When pressed he says he would:

"Shut down the former DTI Government".

I wasn't even aware that the DTI formed a Government, but I guess it's more likely than a Lib Dem one.

I can't think of anything more pointless than Lib Dem conference. A bunch of people who can't decide what they might do if they were elected, or how they might fund what they might do if they were elected, unable to face up to the reality that they are ever going to be elected anyway.

I can't decide whether it is self-indulgent, delusional, or both.

But that's the joy of being a Lib Dem, isn't it?
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