Papering Over The Cracks

Apologies for not blogging last night about the local elections - sadly I didn't have any internet connection due to the fact that we are currently redecorating the only room in my house that has internet connections. A failure of foresight, perhaps, but sometimes there are more important things in life (like having somewhere hospitable to live!).

So with all this decorating, one thing I know is that there is no use papering over the cracks. It was a bad night for Labour last night.

But however bad a night it was for Labour, it still possibly wasn't as bad as the BBC election night coverage.

Admittedly I did watch the programme till about 3.30am so possibly I imagined how bad half of it was.

Particular highlights:

+ Tessa Jowell claiming that the bad results could partially be explained by "local factors" in many instances - and not national issues. So let me get this right, when the party does well it's down to how good the Government is nationally - when we do badly it is down to local factors? Sort of a reverse Bob Marshall-Andrews type of reasoning. I am sure that the Labour councillors who have slogged their guts out week in week out serving people locally for many years will be only too pleased to take that attack on the chin. :-/

+ Jeremy Vine. A man clearly trying just a bit too hard to engender some life into local politics - like a poor man's Peter Snow. Tries to be wacky and zany, but comes across as a bit desperate and slightly unhinged.

+ Jeremy Vine's graphics. Silly ideas in an attempt to bring some triviality and frivolity that leaves even hardened political hacks thinking "what the bloody hell was that all about". The Nick Clegg saloon bar gunslinger typified how ridiculous and unnecessary this gimmickery was - Charles Kennedy must have wondered if someone had slipped something in his water by the look on his face. Don't worry Charles, we all saw what you saw.

+ Jeremy Vine's Texan accent. Just rubbish and slightly surreal. Went on about 10 minutes too long (like Peter Lilley singing Land Of Chattering Classes at Party Conference a few years back). Made John Culshaw's Boris impersonation look good.

+ John Culshaw admitting he hadn't worked out how to do David Cameron's voice yet.

+ Dave Rowntree from Blur being introduced as "Dave Blur" then as "Blur".

+ Clemency Burton-Hill from Party Animals being introduced as a "floater" (that's just her acting skills) and saying "I want anyone but Ken to win" and finishing her summary by saying "and that's why I voted for Ken". Genius.

+ The bloggers panel - I should declare an interest in being approached and then overlooked for this role, but I'm not bitter that my replacement was well in touch with reality. Luke Akehurst a man who described his dream job as being "Chief Whip in an 8th term Labour Government". A man who probably thought last night was a good result for Labour - but wasn't able to communicate this as he was instead telling us how Ken Livingstone had been peeing in his toilet earlier. A real claim to fame if ever there was one.

+ The BBC saying they would be back to the Bloggers Panel every 30 mins to get updates, gossip, and the latest news, then only briefly visiting it 3 times (about 1 minute every hour).

+ The Lib Dem blogger claiming it was a good night for the Lib Dems despite polling less than they did under Ming.

+ Sarah Teather claiming it was a good night for the Lib Dems despite polling less than Ming, despite being a Ming supporter and despite losing touch with all reality.

+ Emily Maitlis not listening or being interested in the response of anyone she talked to - and not having a clue what blogging actually is, plus making several references to Twitter.

+ But without doubt the funniest highlight of the night was when the BBC interviewed John Denham on the loss of Southampton Council. I was left with the feeling his true thoughts were flowing out when he seemed to say:

"The voters locally are shit...er...SHIFTING! The local voters are shifting away from us."

Perhaps he was right the first time?

You could say that, but I couldn't possibly comment.
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(Photo Source: Photocapy, http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Image:Farbroller.jpg)